Practicing mindfulness can be done anywhere at any time. In the post, What is Mindfulness and How to Channel it we learned that mindfulness is the ability to accept your thoughts, feelings, urges and sensation without judgment. With an understanding of what mindfulness is we can start to implement the techniques we can use to practice the act of mindfulness.
The four steps in practicing mindfulness can be remembered by using the acronym, ASIP. As in, a sip of a warm calming cup of tea.
A = Acceptance
S = Stop
I = Inhale
P = Purpose
Let’s dive into a real coaching example:
A client of mine is caring for her husband in the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s. As she was about to leave the house she realized her husband moved her keys and could not remember where he placed them. Moreover, the more she questioned where the keys were placed, the more agitated her husband became. This client was already feeling apprehensive and dealing with anticipation anxiety about leaving the house with her husband.
The client expressed, “I already have anxiety about taking my husband out. His behavior has become unpredictable and I feel a massive amount of pressure and hopelessness anticipating and while trying to leave the house.”
Accept
First, it is important to accept what is happening in the moment and just become aware of it. Things happen outside of our control all the time. In fact, tragedies and challenges have been part of the human experience since the beginning of time. While this is happening it’s important to remember that nothing has gone wrong. This is just a moment in life and it will pass.
Stop
Secondly, stop. Pause and acknowledge what is happening. Acknowledge that you are feeling intense feelings, sensations and urges. Your primitive brain is taking over and signaling to your body the fight, flight or freeze response. Take a moment to be conscious of your thoughts and let your brain know that you are onto it. You can even say out loud, “I see you brain, I’m aware now and I’ll take it from here.”
Inhale
Thirdly, inhale. Take three to four big breaths. Breathing calms our nervous system down which helps to override the fight, flight and freeze stage. Breathe from your belly, not your chest. Once your body gets the signal you are safe, your brain will slow and you can regain agency over your thoughts.
Purpose
Fourthly, regain your purpose. Purposely decide how you want to show up in the next few seconds, minutes, hours and days. Do you want to show up frustrated, late and agitated? Do you want to show up as patient, loving, and attentive?
Think about the differences in these dialogues:
“I knew this was going to happen. I’m never going to find these keys and who knows what will go missing next. There’s no point, he’s misplacing everything and if I just kept my eyes on him this wouldn’t have happened.”
“My husband is confused and trying his best. This disease is not easy and nothing has gone wrong here. I know where my spare keys are and I’ll take care to find my other set later. I’m learning how to navigate this challenge and I am the best person for the job.
Which one feels better? The outcome is still the same, but the thoughts and execution are extremely different.
Final Thoughts
If you notice yourself struggling or looking back on a moment when you wish you were more mindful in your reaction, thoughts or feelings, try journaling. Write and reflect on what was happening at the time and document it. Next, rewrite the scenario practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness is not about being perfect, it’s about being aware and bringing a more conscious awareness to the situation. Practice makes perfect.
Resources:
What Is Mindfulness and How to Channel it (Blog Post)
Caregiver Tools (Etsy Listings)
The Benefits of Mindfulness (Blog Post)
Leave a Reply