Finding the most effective ways to prioritize yourself as a caregiver can be daunting. Oftentimes, it is easy to lose yourself in the day to day tasks and logistics that are required of you. Though losing yourself may seem like it’s the intuitive or unavoidable thing to do, it actually depletes you, your family and your loved one from the “you” you all deserve. Finding ways to prioritize yourself may seem unnatural for most of you, however, the fact that you are reading this means you are one step closer to having your own back.
Taking time for yourself does not mean you are selfish, a “less than” caregiver, or incapable in any way. It simply means you are as open to your needs as you are to the needs of others. Accepting that you matter too, can be uncomfortable. Thinking of everyone else is often much more natural. Yet, when taken too far it can rob you of enjoying the time you still so preciously have with those who matter. More devastatingly, it drains you from enjoying the time you have left with the one you are caring for.
Caring about you doesn’t need to take hours, require you to spend tons of money or even mean that you have to leave your home. I have broken down the 5 most effective ways to start prioritizing yourself as a caregiver today, take a peek…
1. Evaluate & Prioritize What Is Enjoyable to You
One of the first steps in mindfully taking time for what matters to you is to first ask yourself, “What do I actually enjoy?”
Determining what feels good for you is about reminding yourself what fuels you, it’s about small things that bring you sincere joy. Incorporate these things into daily practices so you can find moments of good in each day.
Perhaps it’s having flavored syrup for your morning coffee, painting your nails, decluttering a space, or getting to walk around Target for 20 minutes uninterrupted. It’s personal. Whatever it is, prioritize it.
Take note:
It is important to remember that when you are evaluating what matters to you that you do not create a laundry list of more calendar clogging tasks that will deplete time and energy. For example, pedicures, facials, brunches with girlfriends and any other Pinterest worthy, self-care, actionable hot topic may be lovely, but how sustainable and attainable are they on a regular basis for YOU?
Resources
How To Find Joy And Gratitude In Caregiving
2. Systemize Your Tasks & Respect Your Calendar
Respecting your calendar and using it as your own personal assistant is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.
Look at your calendar, be critical of where you are spending your time and then get honest with yourself.
Time is fleeting and one of the most common misconceptions of today is that your time should be overscheduled. Busy is the new normal. But is it? There is plenty of time, always. There has been plenty of time that has passed, and there is plenty more time still to come.
Being aware of your time and how you are truly spending it is a great way to prioritize what matters to you.
Are you overscheduled and barely keeping yourself afloat? Are you under scheduled yet still feel drained and out of time?
Be realistic with yourself about what is working and what’s not. Get critical of your time and soon your calendar will be working for you, not against you.
Take note:
Oftentimes the lines are blurred between non-negotiables and “should dos.” For example, non-negotiables are things like, medical checkups, work, setting aside time to pay bills or appointments with a tax consultant. They are often confused with “should dos” like, lunch with a coworker, your nephews birthday party, a spa day with girlfriends or even a manicure by yourself.
Resources
If you are looking for a simple planner Click Here
If you are looking for a more detailed planner Click Here
3. Remind Yourself That Small Steps Are Essential
“It’s your time, make it enough.”
Thinking about making time for you can feel like a task in itself. However, you are here, right now, reading this then THAT is a step. It’s a small step, but it’s a giant leap compared to the person you were before you fell onto this post. Small steps taken daily can be compoundly impactful on your relationship with yourself. You don’t need hours of time to be a priority.
Let’s say you want to make your health more of a priority but driving to the gym for a 30 minute sweat session is unobtainable right now. Walking outside, yoga, meditation or even walking the stairs of your home are all easily accessible and require little room or equipment. You can take 5 minutes or 15 minutes and still see profound benefits in your mood and mental health.
Take note:
It’s your time, make it enough.
4. Become Comfortable With Saying “No”
Saying “no” is both uncomfortable and extremely challenging. The word ‘no’ is only 2 letters yet holds such an impactful and negative connotation. However, with practice, it can be one of the greatest vocabulary assets you have in your mindset toolbelt.
Declining invitations and setting boundaries is one of the highest levels of self prioritization.
Take note:
Start small by declining a social invitation that does not fit into your calendar. At first, you may feel guilty knowing that you caused someone else to potentially feel a negative emotion, however, that is their emotion to hold, not yours. If you want to be better to you, whom you are caring for and those who mean the most to you, get clean with the idea of “no” without making it personal. There will always be next time, or maybe there won’t. The great news is, that is totally up to YOU my friend.
5. Effectively Edit Your Relationships
Editing relationships doesn’t have to be aggressive or dramatic. Editing relationships simply means taking time to do inventory, reevaluate and get curious about how these relationships are making you feel. Prioritizing yourself means being clear with who you are and that includes the company you keep. Similar to respecting your calendar (see step #2), evaluate how much time you are spending with those you see the most often. Whose company is enjoyable, a priority because they genuinely make you feel good? Whose company is lack-luster, a priority because you feel like they “should be.”
Looking for More Caregiver Tools?
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Take note:
Who you are today is not who you were before, nor who you will be in the future. Be critical of who deserves your energy. Your time with YOU is valuable, distract from it wisely.
Final Thought:
Caregivers especially face challenges when prioritizing themselves. Caregiving takes time, money and energy that may have not been planned for. Prioritizing yourself is also a way of holding on to yourself and nurturing the new and sometimes unexpected life ahead of you. Those around you may not be able to relate or understand and that is ok. You have permission to protect yourself emotionally, mindfully and spiritually during this season of life. To allow yourself the space to be better for those you love. Lean into it, respect it and be kind with yourself. When you look back you will certainly be proud that you walked through this time of life with intent, dignity and grace.
I’m proud of you!
Gina
Bonus Tip:
It takes practice and time to start feeling comfortable with the idea that you matter but it is important that you start truly believing it. You can use this exercise daily to validate that you are a priority too. Simply say to yourself everyday, “I am capable, worthy and deserving. I am a priority. I love myself and I matter”
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